Those Bags

Fight like a girl imageOh my goodness, what a week! No one else’s testimony to fighting these dreaded cells could have prepared me for my own walk these past few days. I approached last Wednesday with certain trepidation and bravely faced all those bags filled with various medications to finally start my healing journey. My one real fear was that the nurse would not be able to find a decent vein anywhere, as he had jokingly commented the previous time, when blood samples needed to be drawn, that I must have sold my veins to the highest bidder! I really do have veins, but they are usually hidden somewhere and causes me much anxiety when I need to have any blood taken.

Thankfully this time around, the veins in my hand proved to be absolutely suitable for all those bags that needed to pass through my body. First there was a liter of potassium and magnesium mixture to prevent cramping during treatment; followed by 250ml of anti-nausea medicine and a second 250ml of medication that I honestly cannot remember anymore. Following hot on the heels of all of this was ‘the bag’ of another liter of the dreaded chemotherapy. This very unsuspicious looking liquid was the pre-amble to five days of absolute wretchedness. Oh yes, and finally another 250ml of a diuretic, which caused its own set of anxiety to get home in time…..

Accompanying all those bags, were five radiation sessions, compelling me to sleep my life away and unceremoniously forcing normality to slip into oblivion. I am so grateful to those who have nursed me and cushioned me this week, simply allowing me to listen to my body and surrender to all these alien invasions.

My realization these past few days once again proved to be another reminder that very often we are not properly prepared for what lies ahead. I have mentioned over the past few months that my situation is a mountain that I need to climb for my growth and purpose and as much as I have wished that a gap would appear in it, the path is over and down on the other side……My second realization is that even within my own often very unpleasant situation, I have so much to be grateful for. I have witnessed in hospital passages and waiting rooms, the sheer sadness and pain of others that is far worse than mine. We often flippantly jest about choosing our own life’s package again, if given the choice. This is so true….

As ‘those bags’ were a reminder to me that healing medicine doesn’t always taste so good, sometimes it’s necessary to get us back onto a healthier and happier course for our lives.

Until we chat again……



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8 comments / Add your comment below

  1. Keep fighting girl! You’ve started the climb & before you know it you will be “over & down” the other side.

    Lots of love,
    Les xxxx

  2. Go for it, fight like a girl, one who has God right beside her.
    Our prayers go with you all the way.
    Much love
    Sharon and the PAWS girls @ Eddy House

  3. Hello Laura
    Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Do see that your journey will take you up the mountain and over the top, but the journey won’t necessarily be just straight up. Some days it will meander along horizontally and other days you may have to descend a bit to find a better path. But do know this – you will get to the top and zoot over.
    Lotsa love and hugs
    Colleen xxx

  4. Hello Laura,
    How you manage to describe the bags, the days and the wretchedness – when you are feeling so wretched is a true sign that you are still operating strongly in one of your giftings. You will most probably think “Bah – so what!” Well, there are people like us who need to know, and others who are going through this who cannot explain this journey the way you are! Go girl!

    I just wanted to remind you that the same Father God who initially drew you to give your life to Jesus – is still dwelling in you – IN YOU! Yes with all that ‘STUFF” going through your body – which is now His body. When you are weak and unable and incapable – He still functions perfectly watching over all His words to perform them. When you are too weak or too ill-feeling to even care – He is caring bringing about the healing alongside all that stuff! He is still carrying you – you might not see your own footsteps for quite some time – He can carry us a long way – and never tire! You are so so special to Him. He is alongside you – He deeply cares – after all He is your Father. But He knows that you will triumph in the stripes and cross and resurrection of His Son. Praise be to God who always leads us in triumpth in Christ Jesus.

    I am so sorry I am late in replying to this emails – of all emails!! The faith and prayers of others will carry you. Lots of love Glen xxx

    I too say God bless and thank those who are physically there and caring for you. Treasures they are – absolute treasures.

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